4 Steps To Make Difficult Conversations Less Scary

🤗 Lean into tough conversations

When you’re having a conflict, it’s natural to try to avoid it. But it’s actually an opportunity to build trust, deepen relationships, and speak your truth. Leadership Coach and communication expert Toby Sinclair has 4 steps to help you remove the fear so you can stay candid and curious:

🌷 Open up 🤝 Connect ⏳ Take a break 💡 Close with a learning

🌷 Open up

Plan a 1:1. Instead of starting by telling them your perspective on the conflict, kick it off with a question:

What do you want to explore?

Chances are, they’ve noticed the issue and you’re not the only one who wants to address it. Listen, and try to see things from their side.

🤝 Connect

There is always an overlap between your needs and theirs. What might that be? It can help to think it over beforehand, while preparing for the conversation. The overlap is where you’ll find resolution. You can ask:

What do we both want?

How do their ideas match up with your team's goals? Can you see a way through?

⏳ Take a break

Even with the best intentions, things can get heated. When emotions are involved, it’s tricky to find solutions together. The best option is to take a break and come back to it later. You can say:

Why don’t we take a quick break to think this over, and start again in a few minutes?

It can de-escalate the situation to give a time frame and suggest that you’d like a break too. Get up and walk around, hydrate, breathe, and start fresh.

💡 Close with a learning

Once you’ve asked for their perspective and found some overlaps, wrap up with the takeaways:

What was your/my biggest learning?

Share, and then give them a chance to say theirs. This focuses the conversation on a constructive outcome.

🙌 Be both curious and candid

Remembering the balance between being curious and being candid will help you navigate difficult conversations. Ask and listen, keep looking for common ground, take a break when emotions get involved, and close with a learning.

You’ll feel less nervous, build more trust, and get better outcomes!