Clear-is-Kind Feedback

Clear-is-Kind Feedback

"Clear is Kind. Unclear is Unkind" - Brene Brown

Giving feedback is hard. It often seems much easier to avoid the conversation, or stick to the positives because things are going "okay".

But giving clear feedback is what helps your team grow and brings them to a higher level.

Here are a few principles to remember when you feel yourself shying away from a tough conversation.

🙋 Don't wait, speak up

If you see a way for someone to improve and you hold back feedback, that's unkind.

Instead, make a note of what you observed and the outcome you're aiming for, then tell them. For example: "I noticed that our review sessions don't have much participation. I have an idea to make them more inclusive."

Following up early means you can both recall and discuss the details of what happened. That's kind.

👀 Tell them how you see it

Feeding people half-truths or being dishonest to make them feel better is unkind.

In fact, when we lie to protect someone's feelings, it's almost always about making ourselves feel comfortable.

Instead, share your honest observations: "I noticed that when presenting the solutions it sounded like you'd already decided. I'm wondering if this might be why people didn't speak up. What do you think?"

That's kind.

💁 Tell them your expectations

Not being clear about your expectations, yet being disappointed if people don't deliver is unkind.

Instead try saying things like: "I expect the whole team to get feedback on their work. This helps it reach a higher standard and builds a more inclusive culture. I expect that you'll check-in proactively and present options before jumping to final solutions."

That's kind.

Get comfortable being clear

Even when your team member is "just a face on Slack". It's important to keep having these tough conversations, because in the end, it's the kindest thing to do.

So write down your observations and expectations, send over a zoom link, and be clear with your team.

They'll thank you for it in the end.