Collaborating with a Competitive Coworker

Collaborating with a competitive coworker

Sometimes people find their way onto your team with seemingly one agenda: to make themselves look better than you. Whether this comes in the form of belittling comments, blame-games, or acting like a “know it all”, this situation is bound to wear you down.

Josh Nickell, Vice President at American Rental Association, has actionable advice on how to collaborate with a competitive coworker.

🧘 Take a moment to reflect

Reflect on these questions: • Do they do this with everyone, or just with me? • Is there something I do (or have) that they’re jealous of?

You can usually identify one or two reasons why this person seems to have it out for you. Their actions typically stem from a place of jealousy or insecurity.

🏅 Talk them up a little

People act competitively when they feel vulnerable. Focus on boosting their ego slightly to offset their need to shoot you down.

You can try saying things like: • Your perspective is important to me. What’s your opinion on this? • I like your approach - it’s very innovative!

Positive reinforcement is a basic human need, and your competitive colleague needs some, too!

🤔 Do a reality check

If there’s a clear reason why they’re acting this way (for example: you’re both competing for the same role), it can be beneficial to acknowledge the awkwardness upfront.

“I feel like we’re in an awkward position. I want to support you 100%, and we’re also up for the same role. Do you feel weird about that?”

You won’t know what’s going on internally if you don’t ask, so if you feel brave, give it a go!

👐 Show you value their perspective

Try to work with them without compromising your own views. Here are some good approaches: • I see your point! I’m not 100% in agreement, but I see what you mean. • I think we’re coming at this from different angles, but I hear you. That’s helpful!

Even if you disagree with them, you’re also showing that you value them as a person. This will make them feel safer and shift them into a more collaborative mindset.

⏪ Use reverse psychology

A final tactic is to use a counterintuitive route: complement them on the areas they need to improve.

If they interrupt you a lot, tell them that you feel heard when they listen to you. This forces them to slow down and motivates them to improve.

Dealing with a competitive coworker is tricky. Keeping these tactics top of mind will help you collaborate with them even when the going gets tough.