How to Avoid Getting Flustered When Stakes Are High
Practice feeling nervous with a low-stakes dry run
Inspired by:
Renita Kalhorn, Executive Coach for Deep Tech leaders
🎭 Practice makes perfect
Have you ever been presenting an idea and had someone push back, and instead of staying confident, you gave up your point? Our fear of being judged can cause us to get flustered - leading us to back down, get defensive, or let the conversation run off-topic.
To perform better in these situations, it’s useful to practice! A little preparation can go a long way.
🎬 Visualize the scene
Try to imagine the place you’ll be when it’s time to present your idea. How many people are there? Are you in a meeting room or on Zoom? Who’s there? What’s the vibe? Take a deep breath and strike a confident posture.
This will help you simulate the feeling of being “on stage.”
🏃 Dry run!
You know what you want to say, it’s just a matter of boosting your confidence with repetition. You can do this in the mirror or in a private room where you don’t need to worry about being overheard.
If you make a mistake, pick up where you left off and keep going until you’ve run through your proposal, argument, or presentation.
💥 Ask the hard questions
What’s the one thing you’re afraid someone will ask? You know, that critical objection that you’re hoping to avoid.
It’s been proven that we can reduce our emotional reaction to a critical question or comment with repeated exposure. So instead of avoiding it, try writing it down or saying it out loud 3 times before the meeting. Then it will affect you less when it comes up for real!
⏺️ Record yourself or role-play
While you’re at it, try recording yourself answering tough questions, or role-play with someone you trust. It might feel almost as awkward as the real presentation, but it’s a low-stakes way to get used to the feeling of being judged (by yourself or your colleague).
🌟 Pro tip: After listening to the recording or your partner’s feedback, try it again. The improvement you see will give you more confidence!
💯 You’ve got this!
Nerves are inevitable before a big presentation or important conversation, so don’t try to avoid the feeling. It’s better to practice situations that make you feel judged - like answering critical questions. Then you’ll be used to the feeling and you won’t get flustered when it really matters.
A couple of repetitions will be enough to set you up for success!
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